My wife Nancy

I am just a guest on this forum but would like to make a suggestion to JohnnyRay. I have heard some rather remarkable results from Raspberry Gold on the treatment of rather aggressive cancer. From what I have read I do not believe that this will cause harm; it might not help but will not harm. God gives us remarkable treatments in phytochemicals and He can heal. Best wishes, Ann

Technophobe,thank you very much and please keep praying.Johnray1

 Johnray I'm adding Nancy to my prayers today, and you.  God bless you both.

Prayers for you and your wife. Take care of each other and say all you need to say.

Hazelpad,thank you,This morning she was too weak to open her prescription bottles and she also could not see well enough to read what was in each bottle.This caused her great embarrassment to tell me this. I told her that I was here to take care of her and I was going to take care of her.

She has 3 Chemotherapy treatments left and she is thinking about not getting them. She is so weak and hurts so much after treatment. I told her that the decision was hers to make,not mine. The Oncologist has never lied to us,he has always said that the Radiation and Chem MIGHT buy her a little time,there was no long term hope with this particular Cancer.

 I do not mean to brag on myself,but I am a real life tough guy both physically and mentally and I have done many very dangerous things for my country,but nothing has prepared me for watching my wife slowly die. It is tearing me apart. Johnray1       P.S. We both need all of your prayers.

I know you are strong, Johnray. But, I cannot imagine how hard this is for you.  I am sorry I cannot be there physically to put the kettle on and hold a hand.  But I know I speak for many of us here when I say we are all listening and feeling with you.

Hello Johnray
I'm deeply saddened to read your post and I wanted to let you know that both you and Nancy are in my prayers.

You have many friends here who care deeply about you. Be strong Johnray and may you be blessed with peace and strength. God bless you both.

Rick

Thank all of you,we need everyone's prayers and I appreciate them.

WillobyBrat,thank you. This is the first time that I have ever faced any enemy that I can not shoot,stab,hide from, call in artillery or airstrikes on. I do not know how to fight it,this enemy will not ever jump on me and kill me.You know that sometimes you are engaged with an enemy and you know that one of you are going to be killed fast. This damn Cancer will not engage, but it is still killing my wife and I can not stop it..Johnray1

I can't come over to help but will gladly answer any questions you may have Johnray.

Technophobe,everything that you said here is true. Rats are big enough for me to shoot. (joking). But I am slowly learning. Jen 147- thank you also.Everything that you two have said is true. I am doing my best and I learn more every day.So,keep the advice coming.

Tonight is a particularly bad night. She has lost more than I realized she had,but I promised her that I was here to the end,no matter what. Tonight there that seems to be a consistent stream of ***** from our bed to the bathroom and back. There is nothing that I hate to clean more than *****. But I am doing it and I will continue to do it.

Please do not delete this because other people in the future will need to know exactly what they face.Johnray1

Technophobe,thank you very much. They may have worked on this diarrhea,but I think that this episode was caused from all the Radiation treatments that she has had. It is one of the side effects and it can happen anytime for the rest of the patients life.Johnray1

What a bitter sweet post Johnray!  I'm glad you found a ray of sunshine in your dark days.

Johnray, you have a rat problem too?    I know that an exterminator can get rid of them, but it will cost $500 +.   Would you like me to find one for you?

I'm staring to rethink  the plan of a road trip out to you Johnray.   I hate damn rats.    There is a process to get rid of them, but I'm not sure you can do it as it requires quite a bit of work.  

What state do you reside in again?

Jen 147 and Technophobe,thank you for the information on Hospice in your area.But I know about Hospice care in this area. A few years ago,the DEA finished a 5 year undercover investigation and most of the hospice people went to prison. They were stealing the narcotics that were meant for the sick and dieing people and they were using the drugs themselves and they were also selling them. The lady who ran the narcotics part of  hospice was one of the nicest people that I had ever meet. She was always well dressed,very clean, very well spoken and perfect in just about every way. She was also the person that was channeling the narcotics to the drug world.

When the raid happened,the Feds and WV State Police hit 30plus houses all at one time. there was one guy in the drug world that had bragged many times that he was armed all of the time and he would kill cops before he went to prison. EVERYONE believed him,so he was taken down first.There were 70 plus arrested. The lady who was in charge of the Narcotics and was so nice and convincing could not be found. The police found her pocket book on the kitchen table and the kitchen window was open,but they could not find her. After a few days.the cleaning ladies at a motel about 25 miles from where most of the raid happened,complained of a foul odor coming from a room that had not been occupied in weeks. They called the police,the police entered the room and it was her. The police said that it was suicide,but I believe it was murder,but what I think makes no difference.

Besides what I told you above,I have to be very careful with what and how I approach my wife. A bedside commode is a perfect idea,but my wife would probably go ballistic and scream at me that I was telling her that she was getting old and that only old people and dieing people had bedside commodes. She has not accepted anything yet and she is still pissed that she has cancer and she tells me that I gave it to her.I am still keeping up with the cooking,and the house cleaning so I do not need hospice yet. But I will call them when I need them. Another thing that Hospice if famous for around here,besides stilling narcotics, is for also stealing everything else that they can get their hands on in patients homes. They litterally dry clean homes. That is one reason that many of the people go to worlk for hospice,they get their narcotics,plus all that they can steal.

Technophobe and Jen 147, do miss understand me,I still need and want all of the advice that I can get on anything, I am just not always able to carry out every thing that I need to do. My wife stays on the edge and many times,she goes over the edge.I have to introduce new things or ideas very slowly and sometimes that does not even work.

Everyone please keep praying and keep sending me advice.I will do the best that I can.Thank you all.Johnray1

Kay,thank you.That is the process that I will use,if and when I call hospice.I will suggest the porta-potty when she wakes up and see what happens. We have a master bedroom room and bathroom in our house. It is not very far from the bed to the commode and shower,but a porta-potty would save some cleaning.

Kay, I think that I would have liked your Mom.Johnray1

Hospice, in Denver it goes like this. A nurse comes 2-3 times a week to see if the pain meds, and other meds are working ok. Takes blood pressure, temp, feels pulse in feet and hands and asks if you need other services. Other services are bathing in bed if they can't take a bath or get in the shower.

Basically, I did all the care. My husband did really well except for the last 24 hours. He died in the late afternoon so I never had a "nurse" over night in my house.

We could have decided to go to a "hospice" place but my husband wanted to be at home and he went so fast there was no need for a hospice place.

Now that being said I had a friend that just died and she went to a hospice place because her husband could not handle the food, cleaning, and just taking care of her. Not to be sexist but some men are just not comfortable with caring for a sick person and all that goes with that. My friend was really ill for several weeks unlike my husband who was good until the last 24 hours.

Johnray1 do your best and when it is time for other care you will know the time.

I also am not offended, Johnray.  Like Jen said, if being here on the other end of the keyboard is all I can offer, then I will offer that to the best of my ability.

Johnray, my grandmother died of cancer and in her last few weeks we had nurses living in. My parents didn't want her to go to a hospice as there wasn't one locally and she didn't want to go to one anyway. It was also Christmas time and she wanted to be at home (she lived with us at the time). So two special cancer nurses moved in. They were supplied by a cancer trust and I'm not sure if my parents had to pay for them or not but between the two of them, they cared for her around the clock. 

God Bless Nancy and you, John. In Jesus' name. Amen

Nice post tamara!  I agree... after my Mom was gone I kept her answering machine which had her "please leave a message" message on it.  She was old school & refused to update to even a cordless phone... anyway... one day for some reason a couple years after she'd died (she died in 2005) it no longer worked... I can tell you it was like grieving all over again.

Tamara,thank you for taking the time to tell me these things. She is still able to use a cell phone and she  talks to basically any one that she wants to.I will mention leaving recordings for people,but talking about leaving things for people is a very touchy subject,she has not accepted the possibility that she might die,even though all of the Oncologist have told her and me both that she does not have a chance. Thank You.Johnray1

Continued prayers for you and Nancy Johnray