Weaponized Bird Poop

It looks like it's going to be a lovely day here in central Florida, and, even though it's winter, I still need to cut my lawn. Especially the back yard.

Our back yard includes a small lake, which is shared by the back yards of 5 of my neighbors. It's really a cool place, set right in the middle of a major metropolitan area, and yet you could never know it by standing there.

We have all sorts of wildlife, with many types of birds, including several species of duck, such as mallards and muscovy. The ducks are quite cute, and it's fun to watch them. They do, however, make a nasty mess in the yard. The stuff seems to be everywhere. They eat alot, and poop about once every 5 minutes while they are awake, and once every 15 minutes while they are sleeping.

I've been pondering what to do with the cute little guys once we get the first bird flu signs here in the U.S. I have an assortment of cool weapons that could make pretty short work of the whole ugly task. But I know that Mother Nature will just replace them new ones from OTHER PLACES, which could bring infected birds here even faster.

Anywhoooo...Each time I cut the back lawn, I run the lawn mower through the bird dung, and the dried material mixes with the several pounds of other dust kicked up by the mower, and the whole cloud wafts through the air, and through the neighborhood, settling on myself, and possibly several hundred of my neighbors.

Pretty cool concept, huh?

I believe that the first "wave" of bird flu here will not be spread human-to-human. I think it will come soon, and will be limited to migrating birds. But people will become ill here, and some will die. Will the deaths be limited to those of us with back yard chicken coups? (Don't worry, I don't have one of those) Will the "authorities" be able to figure this one out?

For today, I'm going to break out my first dust mask, and some goggles, and cut the lawn. I haven't bought enough of these things to supply all of my neighbors, so God help them!

Hey, can you guys do me a favor? ... If you hear about some guy dying in Central Florida from H5N1, can you please call the Florida Dept. of Emergency Management, and tell them NOT to ban Chicken McNuggets? Tell them to ban lawn mowers instead !!!!

Hello RicheeRich,

I feel your concerns as I too have a similar problem that has been bugging me for several months.  I have about 30 to 40 wild turkeys that frequently pass through my yard on their way to hunt for food in the neighborhood.  They also hangout in my back yard from time to time, because it borders their roosting area which is undeveloped forested area behind me.  They leave an incredible mess, just as your ducks do, and it has me concerned.  This time of year, but not so much in the summer, there is turkey crap everywhere.  I feel there is going to come a day when I'm going to have to cull those birds.  I have lots of ideas on how I'm going to do that, but depending on how things develop, I don't know if it will be an overt or covert culling.

Shhhhh...don't tell anybody!  lol

Actually, that's way too close for me.  I don't want to get anywhere near em!  I look at them as rats.  Just too many of them!

if it comes to a choice between my pet or my family then i can tell you which one will win. bleach 1-10 mixture