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PANDEMIC ALERT LEVEL
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Online Discussion: Tracking new emerging diseases and the next pandemic since 2005; Coronavirus COVID-19 Pandemic Discussion Forum.

Time for some laughs?

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WitchMisspelled View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote WitchMisspelled Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 03 2020 at 8:21am

Dang, ViQueen!  I should have stopped off at the liquor store on my supply run!

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Technophobe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Technophobe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 03 2020 at 11:19am

Ooooooh!  That sounds good.

Believers don't need proof and sceptics won't accept proof.
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ViQueen24 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ViQueen24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 03 2020 at 11:47am

It's good for what ails you, lol!

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EdwinSm, View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote EdwinSm, Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 07 2020 at 1:01am

Most have of you have been great through the months of corvid-19 so we deserve a group hug:    ((-_(-_-)_-))


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tabitha111 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 07 2020 at 7:14am

'A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.'
--Confucius

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carbon20 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote carbon20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 07 2020 at 1:34pm

Originally posted by Tabitha111 Tabitha111 wrote:

LMAO......

Great movie.....


Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.🖖

Marcus Aurelius
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ksc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 10:36am

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ViQueen24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 10:46am

Lol, good one, KSC!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Technophobe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 12:47pm

             

Believers don't need proof and sceptics won't accept proof.
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WitchMisspelled View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote WitchMisspelled Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 5:49pm

       

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Usk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 7:12pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Technophobe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 09 2020 at 11:03am

CRAPPY JOKE WARNING, ITS NO PUN IN HERE.


  1. Why did the chicken cross the road?  Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
  2. Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
  3. Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
  4. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
  5. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
  6. My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!
  7. After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
  8. If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
  9. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
  10. Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.
  11. Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder
  12. I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a six-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
  13. The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
  14. Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.
  15. I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference.
  16. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog–we laughed a lot.
  17. Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
  18. I finished Netflix today.
  19. Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic? Bitch read the room.
  20. – Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don’t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.
  21. Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

AND

  1. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….
  2. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
  3. What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand.
  4. If coronavirus isn’t about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?
  5. What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
  6. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst-kase scenario.
  7. Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
  8. You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
  9. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
  10. Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste.
  11. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
  12. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
  13. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
  14. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
  15. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
  16. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
  17. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
  18. What did the man say to the bartender? I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.
  19. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
  20. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
  21. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
  22. Yeah, I have plans tonight. I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.
  23. Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
  24. 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.
  25. What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine? Inside jokes!
  26. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
  27. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
  28. Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
Believers don't need proof and sceptics won't accept proof.
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EdwinSm, View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EdwinSm, Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 10 2020 at 12:17am

Groan.....I think I will inflict those lists on some other people :)

How our your preps for Christmas (or Hanukkah, which starts today) going on?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Technophobe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 10 2020 at 4:00am

For me, Yule (Solstice Dec 21 or 22).  

But being a pagan, I can't resist any celebration especially if it marks love or warmth or charity.  So I celebrate EVERYTHING.

Nowhere near ready - I never am.

Believers don't need proof and sceptics won't accept proof.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EdwinSm, Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 12 2020 at 1:46am

Waiting for the restrictions to be over, or the joys of living where the population density is low.....

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EdwinSm, Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 13 2020 at 2:42am

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EdwinSm, Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 21 2020 at 11:10pm


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ViQueen24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 22 2020 at 10:08am

Wow, that was impressive!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carbon20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 22 2020 at 2:10pm

Originally posted by ViQueen24 ViQueen24 wrote:

Wow, that was impressive!

Ditto.....

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.🖖

Marcus Aurelius
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